by Karen Dugan Holman, B.S., M.S., B.S.E.
My Csonka was a gorgeous black lovable lug of a Labrador retriever. He was extremely obedient, skilled, and highly bonded to his family and was the most wonderful dog — until he wasn’t. He exhibited impulse-control issues, startling easily, and could cause a serious bite. Csonka was a large teddy bear 99.9 percent of the time. Why could I not “fix” him? We needed to determine the “why” behind his behavior.
Having a dog that was predictably unpredictable was a deeper problem than dealing with disobedience or misbehavior. I remember clearly feeling that I had done something wrong. I was overwhelmed, embarrassed, scared, and burdened. I was heavyhearted with grief at the possibility of euthanasia as the solution and end to the problem. I felt suffocated.
Behavioral problems are a common cause of the disruption of the human-animal bond and can result in pet relinquishment, abandonment, and euthanasia. Even when the animals remain in their homes, they can experience poor welfare and quality of life.
Even responsible people can have pets with behavioral problems, similar to a therapist or physician having a sick child. How you handle problems when they arise matters more than whether you have perfection. Predictably, it is the most responsible and loving pet owners who experience the most anger and angst about their pets’ behaviors.
How Can Owners Manage the Problems?
Many behavioral problems can be treated, but often, management is the first step. Safety must be a priority. Finding solutions is the right direction, not carrying shame and guilt.
Responsible pet owners acknowledge their pets’ problems and ask questions. Where and when are these events likely to occur? What precipitates the behavior? How should we manage it?
If your dog attacks every canine in the dog park every time you go there, maybe he is telling you he truly doesn’t like the dog park and being around all the other dogs. Stop going to the dog park. Don’t set your dog up to fail. You have not failed but are acknowledging your pet’s perceptions and — almost always — fear.
Studies have investigated how pets’ behavioral problems affect the owners. Research shows that pet owners encounter similar challenges and outcomes. Caring for those animals is similar to caring for a human family member with mental illness or caring for chronically ill pets. Many owners experience caregiver burden.
What Do Owners Experience?
Owners of pets with behavioral problems were surveyed on issues they encountered in four major topics: caretaking, emotions experienced, coping strategies, and lack of understanding and support. Here is a sampling of responses.
Caretaking: extra time required for management; training difficulties; managing the pet in public; degree of planning; vigilance required to keep pets and people safe; limited time out of the house for the owner; lack of money and time to pursue help; strain on family.
Emotions experienced: anger; frustration; stress; worry; sadness; fear and anxiety; guilt; shame; fatigue; pride when their pets improve; working hard to fix the issues develops a stronger bond between the pet and family; love mixed with resentment and frustration; feeling sorry for the pet; feeling that the pet is suffering; failing as a pet parent; embarrassment.
Coping strategies: seeking additional education, increasing their knowledge; using the expertise of a behaviorist, therapist, or veterinarian; learning to manage the pet; positive mind-set; talking, breathing, stress management; support groups, finding someone to listen to frustrations; working with the pet and seeing progress was supportive and very rewarding; behavioral medications and dramatic improvement gave hope.
Lack of understanding and support: misinformation and myths about animal behavior; unsupportive or harmful reactions of others to the pet’s behavioral problems; people bark, scream, and make noise at the pet; comments such as “It’s just a dog, get another one”; lack of understanding from trainers and veterinarians, day-care staff, friends, family, and hateful strangers; “I wish people would stop listening to misinformation and try telling me he is trying to be the alpha or dominant dog. And when you try to say otherwise, they argue with me due to all the wrong information that they see on TV and read on the Internet.”
I understand the responses shared by those surveyed because I experienced many of the same emotions.
How Do Owners Build a Bond?
My Csonka, who in the beginning struggled to be good, was diagnosed later in life with a medical issue. It most likely had been present since birth. It was the root of his behavioral issues all along.
Dealing with the complexities of caring for Csonka, with nose to the grindstone and grit and a big dose of hope, my family gained the strength to work through his problems. With structured management and science-based positive-reinforcement protocols, Csonka spent 10 years without fear, anxiety, and bites.
Through the journey, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the heartache that can come with a pet with behavioral issues. I have learned that through hard work, consistency, and a positive approach, the bond between you and your pet can become unbreakable.
Happy Tails, Karen
Three Oaks Animal Behavior
Counseling LLC
[email protected]
